Monthly posts to Tales from the Tapestry are written by Author/Storyteller/Playwright Linda Goodman. Linda is the author of Daughters of the Appalachians, which has been performed around the country both as a one-woman show and a play. She has been a professional storyteller since 1989. She is a Virgina Appalachian Mountain native of Melungeon descent.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Happy Mother's Day!
My mother passed on March 1, 1989, and I miss her more every day. She practiced tough love. In fact, I used to hate her for the restrictions she placed on me. Until the day I left home, I was not allowed outside after dark. I had to be in bed by 10:00 p.m. She made me do everything myself, often over and over, until the thing was done right. She would sometimes have public outbursts that embarrassed me (but made me more likely to behave when we were in the public eye. I would take a beating over being embarrassed in public any time). If I had an issue with a teacher, I had to handle the matter myself, as my mother refused to get involved. By the time I was a teen, my mother and I had screaming matches on a daily basis. What was the result of my being raised by this tyrant? My mother did not have to push me from the nest. At the age of 18, I fled from it, only to discover that my mother was right about so many things. The world is a tough place, and my mother made me tough enough to survive it on my own. My failed first marriage, my journey as a single mother, my years with an difficult employer - I never would have survived these difficult trials if I had not be toughened up by Mom's refusal to coddle me. Only after I recognized that fact was I able to remember and treasure all the hugs and kisses I had somehow forgotten.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Lynette
© Linda Goodman March 2014
(Lynette is one of the Characters from Boojie's People, the sequel to Daughters of the Appalachians.)
Warning:This story has images that may be disturbing to some.
(Lynette is one of the Characters from Boojie's People, the sequel to Daughters of the Appalachians.)
Warning:This story has images that may be disturbing to some.
Carol was
the first friend I made after my family moved from the mountains of Wise
County, Virginia to the city of Portsmouth, Virginia. She lived in the same
apartment building, on Smith Place in Williams Court, as me. Her family’s
apartment was directly beside mine. We could talk to one-another through our
thin bedroom walls.
The morning
after my first night in my family’s new apartment, I went outside to play. Most
of the kids ignored me (when you are new you have to prove yourself), but Carol
asked me to play hopscotch with her. She was pretty good at it, considering that
one of her legs had been left crippled by polio. After a few games, she asked
me if I had “roach rain” in my apartment at night. I knew exactly what she was
talking about. All night long I had listened to the roaches fall from my
bedroom ceiling to the floor or, much worse, my bed. The sound was akin to a slow,
steady rain. I thought the roof was leaking, until one of the “drops” fell on
my forehead and scurried away over top of the covers. I wrapped myself up in my
quilt like a mummy after that. I do not think I slept at all that night.
Carol
explained that I did not need to be afraid of roaches. “They’re nasty boogers,”
she said, “but they can’t hurt you, Lynette. It’s the rats you have to be afraid of.”
“Where are
they?” I asked.
“Did you
hear any scratching inside your bedroom walls last night?” she responded. I
told her that I had heard scratching, not only in my bedroom walls, but in the
bathroom walls, as well.
“That’d be
the rats!” she confided. “Now, they can hurt you bad! If they scratch long
enough, they can scratch their way right through the walls. I heard tell that last
year one of them scratched its way through a wall and ate a baby’s face off, down
on Garrett Street”
I scoffed
at the idea. I decided that Carol was not a nice person; that she was just trying
to scare me. I told my mama about it, and she agreed. “I never heard tell of a
rat scratching through a wall in my whole life,” my mama assured me.
Two weeks
later, though, I found out that Carol was not exaggerating. I was in the
bathroom brushing my teeth when a rat scratched its way right through the
bathroom wall. I took off running, and that rat ran after me. To this day I
remain convinced that it would have eaten me alive, had my father not been
there to beat it off with a broom.
After the
rat incident, my daddy contacted Orkin Exterminators to come and spray our
apartment with poison to rid us of our bugs and rodents. “Bub, I can spray your
place every day of the week” the Orkin man explained, “but it won’t do a bit of
good unless all the other families in this building get their apartments
sprayed, too. If they don’t, the bugs’ll
just run to the other apartments and come back to yours a few days later, just
as strong as ever.”
So Daddy set
himself upon a mission to get all the families in our building to sign on to
get their apartments sprayed for vermin. The total price, if shared by each
apartment, was quite reasonable. The only person who would not agree to do it
was Carol’s mother, who did not have any money. My daddy wanted to get rid of
those varmints so badly that he paid for her apartment to be sprayed. Two weeks
later the Orkin man treated our entire building, and when we got home from
school that day, my mother had brooms waiting for us to help her sweep up all
the dead roaches. We filled up two thirty gallon trash cans. That night, there
was no roach rain. There was no scratching inside the walls either.
Carol’s
family lived on Welfare. She had an older sister, Janet, an older brother,
John, and a younger sister, Annie. Annie
was the same age as my sister Ebby. Each of the four children had a different
father. Annie was the only family member whose father actually visited her.
Carol’s
mother was a drunk. The only time I ever saw her without a bottle in her hand
was when she was asleep and the bottle lay on the floor where she dropped it.
Carol told me that her mother sometimes fell asleep while smoking in bed. Janet
and John would take turns staying awake at night to make sure that their mother
didn’t accidentally set her bed on fire. Janet always looked after Carol and Annie.
Janet was more of a mother to them than their actual mother ever was.
Carol had
lived in Williams Court for three years before I moved there. She knew where
all the cool hiding places were. We spent a lot of time exploring in the
cavernous crawl space underneath our apartment building. She showed me the
shortcuts to Sawyer’s Little Store and the Highway Pharmacy. She even showed me
a secret swimming hole behind some new apartments that were being built on Deep
Creek Boulevard. No one ever swam there but Carol. I didn’t know how to swim,
so I just watched.
Carol knew
secrets that she shared with only me. She knew that Mr. Norton was seeing a
woman across town on Saturdays, when his wife thought that he was at work. She
knew that Jimmie Lee hid dirty magazines under his bed. She also knew how
babies were made. When she shared that with me, I called her a liar. I knew
that my mama and daddy would never have done anything like that, even to get a
baby.
When I
asked Carol why her father never came to visit, she told me that he was in
prison for robbing a liquor store. She knew his name was Earl, but she had
never met him, or even seen his picture.
No one in
my neighborhood got much for Christmas. The Christmas that I was ten years old,
I got a Buttons and Bows board game, two Nancy Drew books, and four walnuts.
Carol got an orange.
I have never,
before or since, seen anyone get so excited over an orange. She took a knife
and split the orange into two halves. “See how juicy it is!” she squealed as
she handed one half to me. “Just suck all that juice out and then eat what’s
left behind. And don’t forget the white layer on the rind. That’s where all the
vitamins that keep you from getting sick are.”
She gave me half of her only Christmas
present! I didn’t want to eat it! My mama bought oranges from the fruit and
vegetable truck that came through our neighborhood every week. I knew, though,
that Carol would be hurt if I did not share this rare pleasure with her; so I
did eat it. In fact, we made a ceremony of biting into our halves at the exact same
time, and as the bright orange pulp, made even sweeter by our devoted
friendship, burst inside our mouths we laughed and hugged. Our shared delight
cemented our bond, and our lives began to curl around each other, like the
twisting vines that grew together on the
lamp post that stood at the corner of our building. In that brief moment in
time, I felt that we would be bound together always.
When I was
eleven, Carol’s sister Janet graduated from high school and joined the army.
The following year, her brother John did the same. Before leaving for boot
camp, John told Carol, who was twelve years old, that she would have to be the
responsible one after he was gone. She would have to look after Annie and make
sure their mother did not burn the house down.
Carol’s
sister Annie was my sister Ebby’s best friend. Carol and I would take them to
the playground a few times a week. Once we got into an argument over who was
prettier, Ebby or Annie. Both had blonde hair and blue eyes. Carol said that Annie
was prettier because her hair was whiter. I said Ebby was prettier because her
hair was golden.
“Ebby’s hair color is so beautiful that every
time my daddy cuts it (Daddy had once been a barber), we take it to the beauty
parlor and they pay us one hundred dollars and make wigs out of it!” I claimed.
“You’re nothing but a storyteller!”
Carol hissed at me.
Back then, I did not know that
being a storyteller could be a good thing. My mama usually switched me for
“telling stories.” Carol’s remark left me highly insulted and I came back at
her hard.
“At least Ebby doesn’t run around
outside in her underwear, like Annie does!” I yelled.
Carol looked over my shoulder and
grinned. I turned around to see what she was grinning at and saw Ebby running
through the Dinky Pool stripped down to her birthday suit. I grabbed Ebby by
her arm, swatted her behind, and insisted that she put her clothes back on. I
took Ebby home and did not speak to Carol for two whole days.
One day Carole and I came home from
school and there was a fire truck in front of our building. Carol’s mother had
fallen asleep smoking again. The bed had caught fire and she had some serious
burns. My mama said an ambulance had taken Carol’s mother to the hospital.
Annie’s father had been called. He
picked up Annie and took her to stay with a family that he had paid to look
after her. I wondered why he didn’t just take Annie to his house. I wondered
why he didn’t take Carol with him to look after Annie.
I asked my daddy if Carol could
stay with us, but he said that the state had taken custody of her. When I asked
him why, he said, “It’s complicated.”
Carol was taken to a foster home
that was not too far from where we lived. Mama let me walk over to see her
after school and on Saturdays. The house was faded and run down, but big. The
yard was huge, but ragged. I asked Carol what it was like living in a foster
home. She said the food was better than she what she was used to eating, but
living with strangers was hard. “You have to be polite all the time,” she told
me. “You can’t act smart like you can with your family. If you do, they can send
you to a group home, and that’s like being in prison.”
Carol’s mother came home from the
hospital a few days after the fire. Carol did not come home for three months. Annie
never came back to that apartment. Ebby missed her.
Not too long after Carol came home,
the people in the blue building next to ours decided they wanted their
apartments to be roach and rodent free, too; but they did not call Orkin. They
called the rental office, who had just announced that they had sub-contracted a
team of exterminators to spray buildings by appointment.
The men that the rental office sent
did not spray the individual apartments, like the Orkin man had done. All of us
neighborhood children gathered to watch as they put a giant tent over the whole
building. The tent was clear, and when the spray was squirted up under it, it
looked like smoke was filling the tent. As the smoke began to disappear, the
building started began to turn from blue to brown. The brown started at the top
of the building and quickly flowed down to the bottom and onto the ground. It
was an avalanche of roaches, and it was headed for us!
Terrified, I turned and ran as fast
as I could. Everybody else was running, too. Carol couldn’t keep up because of
her polio leg. The last time I saw her, she was hobbling and trying, but not
able, to keep up the rest of us. She was in roaches up to her knees.
I did not come back home for hours.
That night when I went to bed, the roach rain had come back. Mama said most of
those roaches had run right into our building. The next morning, Daddy called
Orkin again.
For three days I knocked on Carol’s
door. The first two days her mother yelled at me to go away. The third day, she
answered the door and told me that Carol was back at the foster home. “She
won’t be living here no more,” she said.
I went to the foster home, but the
woman told me Carol was not there. She had gotten another kid after Carol had
left, and did not have room for Carol anymore. “They probably took her to a
different home,” the woman sighed. “Maybe the group home. Check there.”
My daddy said he would check on
Carol, but he couldn’t find out anything either. I keep wondering if her mother
told me the truth. I keep wondering if Carol just got carried away in that brown
avalanche and nobody even tried to help her.
I am a grownup now, and sometimes I
see Carol in my dreams, standing there helpless, up to her knees in cockroaches.
In the dreams I want to help her, but I am so scared that I just can’t make
myself do it. Always the roaches start to come for me, and I panic and run. Always,
I leave my best friend behind.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Stone Soup Storytelling Festival, April 24-26
Thursday, April 24 until Saturday, April 26

Life is a story.
Support literacy, communication and diversity- come to the Stone Soup Storytelling Festival, The Official Storytelling Festival of South Carolina. Downtown, Woodruff, SC 29388. April 24-26, 2014.
Soup n Story Gala, Storytelling, Ghost Stories, Storytelling Workshops, Amateur Story Slam Competition, Lunch and Laugh, 5K Run, local Art Exhibit and Sales featuring the Carolina Foothills Artisan Center.
Featured storytellers for the weekend are Noa Baum, Geraldine Buckley, Linda Goodman, Darion McCloud, Cora Newcomb, and Kim Weitkamp.
Many free events with festival and family discounts.
For more information on the schedule, tickets, entry forms and lodging, contact us at http://stonesoupsc.com/or on Facebook at Stone Soup Storytelling Festival or call the Woodruff Library (864-476-8770). Follow the festival on Facebook for updates
Support literacy, communication and diversity- come to the Stone Soup Storytelling Festival, The Official Storytelling Festival of South Carolina. Downtown, Woodruff, SC 29388. April 24-26, 2014.
Soup n Story Gala, Storytelling, Ghost Stories, Storytelling Workshops, Amateur Story Slam Competition, Lunch and Laugh, 5K Run, local Art Exhibit and Sales featuring the Carolina Foothills Artisan Center.
Featured storytellers for the weekend are Noa Baum, Geraldine Buckley, Linda Goodman, Darion McCloud, Cora Newcomb, and Kim Weitkamp.
Many free events with festival and family discounts.
For more information on the schedule, tickets, entry forms and lodging, contact us at http://stonesoupsc.com/or on Facebook at Stone Soup Storytelling Festival or call the Woodruff Library (864-476-8770). Follow the festival on Facebook for updates

Thursday, March 6, 2014
Hampton Roads Storyteller Sheila Arnold to Be Featured at Culpeper Tells, A Festival of Words
Take an Oprah personality, shake in the travels of a military
brat, add in a single mother's experiences, and blend in a little
girl who loved reading any type of story with the college student that fostered
her love of history, and you just might have Ms. Sheila. If
you are looking for some variety in storytelling, Sheila Arnold is
like the Virginia weather: if you wait a minute, she will change up and surprise
you."
“My Daddy was a country boy who lived in Catlett/Calverton, Virginia in
Fauquier County. He used to play football and remembers the Culpeper team
as being one of the biggest. I love when he tells those stories about his
early days,” states Arnold, who will be one of four featured storytellers at
the first annual Culpeper Tells, a
Festival of Words, to be held at the State Theater in Culpeper on March 15,
2014 from 9:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. “I come
to Culpeper with the joy of knowing my Daddy's footsteps have already been
there, and I hope that others will find footsteps that mirror theirs in my
stories.”
Arnold, who is often compared to the late, great storyteller Jackie
Torrence, says, “I love watching how people remember stories and how they recall
memories when I tell a story; whether it's personal, a folktale, a fairytale or
even one of my original stories. I especially love when they take the
tale and share it with someone else.”
When asked about her
favorite storytelling experience, Arnold replies, “I do a lot of storytelling for students who are visiting Colonial
Williamsburg. Many of the students and their chaperones travel for hours to get there, and when they walk
in and see a storyteller, they are likely to remark, ‘Ugh, can't we just
go the pool?’ But within ten minutes
chaperones and students alike are wide awake, participating, hearing every
word and, at the end, saying, ‘Wow! Is it over?’ I love watching the
change.”
Another time, Arnold was performing for adults at First Baptist Church in
Warrenton. “I began my first story with the song, Wading in the Water, and before I hit the second line, the pianist
rushed back to the piano, found my key, and started playing. Then the
entire congregation joined in. I had never had that happen before and I
loved it! After the song, everyone sat on the edge to listen to
storytelling. At the end, a number people told me that they never realized what
storytelling was and that they enjoyed being a part of it."
When you see Ms. Sheila Arnold, you will hear stories that make you see
pictures in your head and leave you wanting more. To find out more about
Ms. Sheila, visit her website at www.mssheila.org
The festival has received a media
grant from the Virginia Tourism Corporation. A variety of partners are sponsoring
the event, including the Virginia Storytelling Alliance (VASA), the State
Theatre of Culpeper, Culpeper Tourism Department, Culpeper Chamber of Commerce,
Culpeper Renaissance, Holiday Inn Express and Suites Culpeper, and Gumbo Design
Studios.
VASA will be hosting its annual Gathering during this same weekend, with
events on Friday evening and Sunday morning. If you purchase a VASA Gathering
weekend ticket, it will include all performance and workshop events on Friday,
Saturday and Sunday.
Registrations fees range from
$10.00 for a single workshop, to $35.00 for the full day on Saturday, to $50.00
for a VASA Gathering weekend ticket. A barbeque dinner will be offered from
5:00 pm – 7:15 pm for $20 per person. To register for the festival, visit the
website of the State Theatre of Culpeper, Virginia, at http://www.culpepertheatre.org. You
may also reserve a room at the Holiday Inn by calling the hotel directly at (540)825-7444 and asking for the “storyteller”
rate. The Inn is located at 787 Madison Rd,
Culpeper, VA 22701.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
JOBS!!
Seems like everyday another business is letting employees go or going out of business. I worked as an accountant or over 25 years and several companies that I worked for, both large and small, went under. I can tell you that the signs are always there. If you see them, be prepared. Here are just a few:
1. The company's president or CEO calls a meeting (or, more likely these days, sends an email) to announce to all employees that the company is solid and that the circulating rumors have no basis in fact.
2. Meetings (see #1) that used to be fully catered at the Sheraton are now held in the cafeteria with the vending machines.
3. The accountants (or any one who works with the balance sheet) look nervous.
4. You are asked if you can wait a week for your paycheck....I was asked this question on 3 occasions. I asked why. One person answered that I looked like I was doing pretty well and could afford to wait. I asked what gave him that impression. He answered (I swear to God this is true!) "Your hair."
5. Your supervisor replaces your box of tissue with a roll of toilet paper.
6. Your supervisor must check the trash in your waste basket to make sure it is full before you throw it away.
BY THE WAY, I AM NOW PUTTING TOGETHER A NEW STORYTELLING SHOW TITLED "JOBS."
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Kim Weitkamp to Be Featured at Culpeper Tells, A Festival of Words
As
the redheaded child of exhausted parents, Kim Weitkamp grew up enjoying the role
of the middle child. Allowed to roam free in the heart of Amish Country, her imagination was ripened by a life lived outdoors. She wrote and performed plays and pageants for her family, did impersonations and comedy bits for visiting guests, and frazzled her teachers with grandiose stories of her daily adventures which included talking animals and impossible inventions.
of the middle child. Allowed to roam free in the heart of Amish Country, her imagination was ripened by a life lived outdoors. She wrote and performed plays and pageants for her family, did impersonations and comedy bits for visiting guests, and frazzled her teachers with grandiose stories of her daily adventures which included talking animals and impossible inventions.
Weitkamp will be one of
four featured storytellers at the first annual Culpeper Tells, A Festival of Words, to be held at the State
Theater in Culpeper on March 15, 2014 from 9:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. In
her work as a humorist, storyteller, singer and songwriter, she has taken home
an armload of awards and recognitions.
She has 6 audio collections, the latest two being, Head Bone Rattles, a collection of original ghost stories and songs,
and The Lap, a highly requested,
limited release story and song.
"Kim Weitkamp's performances
are full of little surprises,” says Storyteller/Entertainer Andy Offutt Irwin. “When
she begins, you'll laugh at her. Then, you'll laugh at her characters. Then
you'll turn around and care about her characters and root for them. And then
she'll sing, and you'll say, 'where did that come from?' That milk and honey
voice."
Author/Storyteller/Playwright Linda Goodman agrees, saying “Kim’s stories weave precious memories and delightful details together into panoramic pictures that take us on a personal journey into the very soul of family. Like all good storytellers, she evokes both laughter and tears, but her smooth, silky voice, impeccable timing, and dead-on anticipation of her listeners’ needs place her at the pinnacle of her craft. The listener feels like a trusted confidant, lending an ear to a friend who knows that sharing herself and the lessons she has learned are the best gifts one can offer.
Culpeper
Tells, A Festival of Words
has received a media grant from the Virginia Tourism Corporation. A variety of
partners are sponsoring the event, including the Virginia Storytelling Alliance
(VASA), the State Theatre of Culpeper, Culpeper Tourism Department, Culpeper
Chamber of Commerce, Culpeper Renaissance, Holiday Inn Express and Suites
Culpeper, and Gumbo Design Studios.
VASA will be hosting its annual Gathering during this same weekend, with
events on Friday evening and Sunday morning. If you purchase a VASA Gathering
weekend ticket, it will include all performance and workshop events on Friday,
Saturday and Sunday.
Registrations fees range from
$10.00 for a single workshop, to $35.00 for the full day on Saturday, to $50.00
for a VASA Gathering weekend ticket. A barbeque dinner will be offered from
5:00 pm – 7:15 pm for $20 per person. To register for the festival, visit the
website of the State Theatre of Culpeper, Virginia, at http://www.culpepertheatre.org. You
may also reserve a room at the Holiday Inn by calling the hotel directly at (540)825-7444 and asking for the “storyteller”
rate. The Inn is located at 787 Madison Rd,
Culpeper, VA 22701.
Learn more
about Kim Weitkamp and her stories by visiting her website at http://www.kimweitkamp.com
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Storytelling World Resouce Awards Announced.
The 2014 Storytelling World Resource Awards are now published. Congratulations to all the winners. I am especially happy for my award winning friends Bill Harley, Janice Davin, Alton Chung, Martha Reed Johnson, Kim Weitkamp, Lona Bartlett, ...Diane Edgecomb, Tim Lowry, The Storycrafters, Donna Washington, Geraldine Buckley, Noa Baum, Mike Lockett, Bernadette Nason, and Margaret Read MacDonald. I am also happy to report that my own story Jessie received a "Winner" award in the "Stories for Adolescent Listeners" category and my story The Punishment received a "Winner" award in the "Stories for Adult Listeners" category. Both of these stories are on my CD Jessie and Other Stories.
For a full list of winners, visit the Storytelling World website at:
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