by Linda Goodman
©Linda Goodman
1996
When my family lived in the
Appalachian Mountains of Virginia, the food that we ate at our Thanksgiving Day
meal was the same as what we ate on any other day: soup beans and cornbread. Occasionally, there would be meat, if Daddy
had been out hunting.
What made the meal different was a
ritual that my Daddy insisted upon observing on Thanksgiving. Before eating, each of us sitting around the
table would, one by one, give thanks for that for which he or she was most
grateful. Not having much in the way of
material possessions, our thanks usually were given for treasured
relationships. One year, after I had
recovered from a severe bout with pneumonia, I was surprised to hear my
brothers give thanks for my survival. It
changed the way I felt about them, and their constant teasing was easier to
take after that. I gave thanks for my
new baby sister. Mama was thankful for
well-behaved children, and Daddy was thankful that he had been blessed with
children who were thinkers. If you use
your head, you will come out ahead, he always said.
When we moved to the city,
Thanksgiving remained the same. My
parents refused to assimilate into the city culture, and so our meals and
rituals never changed. We children
eventually adopted city ways, but Mama and Daddy held to the old ways until
their deaths.
The Thanksgiving after they passed
away, my sister and her family came to spend the holiday with me in
Connecticut. I fixed a traditional meal
of turkey, dressing, and various side dishes.
Before eating, my sister and I decided to reinstate the old ritual that
we had taken part in so often. One by
one our children gave thanks. My
daughter was thankful for the new dress she had gotten for the Christmas dance
at school. My nephew was thankful for
his Nintendo. My niece was glad that her
allowance had been increased. No one
mentioned family or friends.
I abandoned the ritual after
that. It just was not the same with its
new emphasis on material possessions. On
Thanksgiving day, we have a bountiful meal and good companionship. Everyone seems happy. But I always make sure to take a few minutes
alone to give thanks for the wonderful man who taught me that it is not who you
are, but how you live, that matters most; and that anyone who has a loving
family is rich indeed.
You are always so thought provoking, Miss Linda. Thank you for bringing me back into your childhood and sharing the dear values of your parents. This rings truth for me and a struggle I have as a mother of two boys who love their stuff, but they too have their sentimental side and as they mature I hear how they appreciate what their family gives them with love and security as they see their friend's whose parents buy them way too expensive shoes or even sadder are going through divorces. I will have to remember to go around our table this year. I appreciate your honesty as well, as things in our lives and our families aren't always the way we want them to be. XXOO Have a wonderful holiday with your family!! Thank you Linda for sharing yourself with us privileged followers.
ReplyDeleteRose, I am so glad that you enjoyed the story. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
DeleteI enjoyed this very much. Yes, traditions have changed for all of us in some way or the other. This brought back memories of my childhood when my sisters and I sat around a little table in a little kitchen that I called home while growing up. We didn't have much but we had one another and even at that age I was thankful. Thank you again for stirring a memory.
ReplyDeleteThose treasures that live in our hearts are always the greatest blessings, Phyllis. Thanks for reading, and happy Thanksgiving.
DeleteThank you for your story rich in culture and values. It was as delicious and satisfying as any Thanksgiving dinner. Thank you, Linda.
ReplyDeleteThank you, J. Madison Rink.Feel free to continue feasting on my stories.
DeleteLinda.. thank you. May the Blessings of God be with you and your loved ones. I will share your thoughts as we gather around our Thanksgiving table.
ReplyDeleteAnd blessings to you and yours, as well, Herb. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
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